Ode to Bridge, shared by Kestrel’s, Sara Mit—

I’m giving up Bridge –
tonight’s my last night,
it’s Amen to Stayman, I give
up the fight.
The insults and muddles are
giving me troubles;
I can’t sleep at night for
remembering doubles.

What to bid, what to lead
and which cards have been
Did my partner’s discard
mean she wanted a spade?
So for now it’s all over – I’m
off to the backwood,
I’m bidding good riddance to
Gerber and Blackwood.

I can’t stand the hassle, I
can’t stand the pain,
I’m getting those bad cards
again and again.
I’m giving up Bridge –
tonight’s a bad night,
Declarer is horrid and
nothing’s gone right.

My partner’s quite hopeless
but tends to blame me,
When we go down in four
though should have been in three.
I sit there in dread when
I see her bid double.
She does it a lot and it
always means trouble.

My points are not high, and
I’m wondering why,
she keeps on and on
bidding up to the sky:
We’re in seven hearts and
my nerves are frayed,
when wonder of wonders
our contract made!

We have all the tricks,
the defenders look grey,
and I have to admit my
partner’s ok.
But—I’m giving up Bridge,
tonight’s my last night.
Farewell to conventions.
I give up the fight!

So I end with some words
that I know to be true,
Bridge is a game, not for me
but for you.
So be kind to your partners,
and don’t mind their cheek,
for it’s only a game, and yep!
I’ll see you next week.